A Letter From A Student To Her Mother

We would like to share with you the following story from one of our students. She wrote this to her mother who is still in the North. She gave us permission to translate it and share it. Please keep this young woman and her mother in your prayers.

Dear mother in North Korea,
Mommy! Mom……
That is the name I really want to call!
I’m your daughter whom you love so much. I’m writing this letter while placing your face in my dream. I truly hope this letter can be sent to you. Here, South Korea is so hot nowadays. The temperature is fluctuating between 20 and 30 degrees Celsius. It must be the same in North Korea. How are you? I am afraid you’re weakening more and more these days. Mom, once I hold the pen, I have no idea how to start this letter because I have so much to say.

Mom! The days when we lived together are still lingering before my eyes. All the time you went out to get some food, always worrying that I might starve to death. I was always thinking while waiting for you,  "Today, what kind of food will mom get?” “How much food can mom get?” While I was thinking alone, you always came back. You never disappointed me. That’s why I could survive healthily even if there were so many neighborhoods starving to death that time. I still have a vivid recollection of it as well as the cemetery where dead people were gathered in our neighborhood. Although people who went back and forth to China didn’t have to worry about starving to death cause they were rich, most of the farmers like us starved to death.

At that time, a certain idea occurred to me. I thought I should go to a wealthy place to get out of poverty. Even though I was just seventeen, my thoughts were firm. The reason was that I wanted to live well for a long time with you. So I came across to China without your permission. You must have been very disappointed in me at that time. Fortunately, while I was living in China, I met some good people that helped me call you.

As I was staying there about 1 year, I met a savior while working at restaurant. He was a businessman in China and he asked about my situation curiously. He asked me if it is true or not that there are people who starve to death in NK. When I said yes, he asked more. Then he helped me a lot, saying that he has a daughter like me. But I also felt nervous staying in China. I was afraid that the public security bureau would catch me and send me back to NK. Meanwhile, I knew the way to defect to South Korea. Suddenly I felt that I wanted to go South Korea. If the businessman had not lent me money at that time, I might have been taken back to NK and died.

Mom, though I came to South Korea, I feel sorry to you every day. When I was in China, I felt less frustrated because we could speak often. We shared news of each other. I could send some money to you that I earned by serving in a restaurant. One day, when I said that I wanted to go to South Korea, you stopped me firmly. “You will die if you are caught,” you told me, trembling with fear. However, living in China was also not comfortable. The bureau’s fierce eyes were always watching me.More and more, I thought that I must go to South Korea.

Even though I defected to South Korea after having been through deadly perils, I was on edge. I heard that my escape became the news in North Korea, so you and the broker were taken to prison. It has been 1 year since I’ve contacted you.  After then, I was going crazy because I couldn’t contact you. I guess you were the same as me. You must have been worried that I might be in trouble when I came to SK. Especially, it was the hardest time when I first came here.

I felt guilty that I came to the free country alone and sent you into the depths of death. I was greatly distressed because it was obvious that you were in trouble due to me. I was so sad that I couldn’t stop crying every night.

At that time, however, a ray of light shone down on me. That thing was the Heavenly Dream School, the Christian school. It was the start of miracle for me. To be honest, when I first came here, I couldn’t even imagine studying. I just wanted to earn money to pay a debt to the businessman who helped me in China. Making money was the first thing to do in order to bring you from NK. However, it was hard to be independent because I was underage.

Instead, I became a student at Heavenly Dream School. At first I was sitting absent-mindedly for months after I came to the school since I didn’t know the contents of the classes and I didn’t have any motivation to study. I knew that the teachers were concerned about me sincerely and also praying for me.

At first, try as I might, I couldn’t believe in God. One day, however, I came to believe in God. It was amazing. I was so happy. I felt safe as long as the Lord stays with me. I realized that I’m not alone anymore. The fact that God always accompanies me made me so thankful. Everything I went through threatened me with death. Every moment I was at death’s door, but then I became a student in a free and lovely place. All of these things were God’s will. I was a person selected.

Mom, my life was changed after I believed in God. I cannot help but think about how fortunate and blessed living in South Korea is. After a while, I’ll take a qualification exam for college entrance and have a chance for my dream here.

The only thing I’m yearning for now is bringing you here. That’s my only wish. Mom, I’ll bring you without fail. Please wait for me, Mom. Please hang on firmly and don’t be hurt. I’ll try to contact you in any way as soon as possible.

The weather is so hot these days. There are many hard times but I won’t give up. I have a mission to meet my mother who loves only me. It is not once or twice that I get nervous whenever I hear on the news that the relationship between North and South Korea is on shaky ground. I hope Korea will be unified in a peaceful way quickly so that lots of people separated like us will be able to be together. I’m so sad that the relationship between North and South Korea is going through a rough patch. However, as the Lord led me from the Valley of Death to here, I believe that He will also let us meet soon.
Mom, Mother, I want to see you. I miss you so much. Please come to my dreams tonight.